Origins1:1-4 Hello people. This is The Ryan. The whole idea of the Book of Ryan started when some of my friends mentioned that I see the world through some very odd-colored glasses. This is my attempt to explain exactly what color those glasses are. Every week (not sure exactly which day I'll be updating yet) I'll bring you another three or so panel strip complete with verses taken from the Book of Ryan, which in turn is straight from my mind. At any rate, it will get better as time goes on, so bear with me as I set the stage. Oh, and as things progress, you might notice subtle little inconsistencies and whatnot; more often than not these are deliberate. Even if they aren't deliberate, I will swear up and down that they were, for The Ryan does not make mistakes.
"Oh The Ryan, please let this slumber which I am about to take be restful and fulfilling, and let my dreams not cause me to excrete things into my sheets, because that would suck, as I have just washed them. Amen."
Go forth my believers, and sleep. May I be with you.
"Oh The Ryan, I beseech you in all your Infinite Wisdom to impart some of your power into my life. I am having troubles with (women/men/work/monkies/etc), and I need your omnipotence to smite mine enemies. Please see it within your heart to bring your attention to (insert name or names here) and smite them until they are dead. Once they are dead, if you could see it within your heart to bring them back to life, and then smite them painfully once more unto death. Thank you, The Ryan. Amen"
The Ryan does not ordinarily smite without a good reason. Typically, a good reason would be if there's a really hot chick with a boyfriend, and The Ryan wants the chick to himself, he will typically smite the guy. Then since the girl is usually crying, The Ryan tends to smite her, too, because her wails of sorrow get annoying really quickly. Another occasion that will bring The Smite from The Ryan is monkies. Anything to do with monkies tends to incur his Almighty Wrath. Go forth my believers, and be well.
My faithful followers, this is The Ryan speaking. Listen, and heed my words or you will suffer my wrath, something I assure you you will not enjoy. Unless you enjoy suffering the wrath of The Omnipotent. If that's the case then neither listen nor heed my words. At any rate... dammit... now I forgot what I was gonna say. Oh well, it was probably something along the lines of, "I rule, and you are all my inferiors, and you need to worship me more because I have been seeing a drop in sacarafices made in my honor" etc, etc. Anyway, go forth and worship me. Dammit... now I'm in a bad mood... I need to go find someone to smite...
Hey folks... this is The Ryan (go figure, huh?). At this point we're about halfway through the first chapter of The Book of Origins. Actually, more like 3/4, or even 5/6, but I digress. I didn't feel like doing my usual prayer thing today in the newspost. To be perfectly honest, I just couldn't think of anything. Oh well. Next Wednesday I'll probably go back to the old method of madness. If you guys have been wondering (all three of you, including me, that actually read this thing) which video games I've been pawning stuff from, I'll start mentioning it in the strips.
In this week's strip we have: Super Mario Brothers, TMNT, Bubble Bobble, Adventure Island Classic, and the new art for The Ryan is from River City Ransom.
I got some nifty-keen websites to check out if you're into funny things. First off we have the Best Webpage in the Universe. Next up we have my boy, Strong Bad. Lastly I'm gonna plug another webcomic... I believe Nate already has links to most of the comics I read, but here's another that I don't think he has up: 8-bit Theater. That's all for now. Catch ya' on the flip side.
Hello my people. Thus ends the first chapter of Origins. Coming soon I am going to be creating a place I like to call "Eden." I will put the Man and Woman there, and let them enjoy it for a little while before they do something stupid and get booted out. Stupid creations. I would have just created another Me, as that's the only thing worthy of being in My Presence, but then I would have had to share My power. That's not an appealing prospect. At any rate, sorry for the reprieve in comic from last week, but that was sooooo Nate's fault, and he has since been disciplined accordingly. Catch ya' on the flip side.
OLD NEWS
Hey everyone, sorry I didn't get a comic ready for today, but I've been working on a hip-hop mix-cd for the past week or so. It's coming along pretty well. Here's a tentative track listing thus far:
1. Clipse - When the Last Time (Blend)
2. QB Finest - Oochie Wally
3. Ludacris ft. Ms. Dynamite & Maxwell D - Southern Hospitality (Remix)
4. B2K - Bump, Bump, Bump
5. Jay-Z - The Bounce
6. Angie Martinez - Take You Home (Blend)
7. NORE - Nothin'
8. Crooklyn Clan - Be Faithful
9. Baby - Do That...
10. Sean Paul - Get Busy
11. Sean Paul ft. Busta Rhymes - Gimme the Light (Remix)
12. Lil' Kim - The Jump Off (Blend)
13. Trina ft. Ludacris - B R Right
14. Jay-Z - Big Pimpin'
15. Ludacris - What's Your Fantasy (Remix)
That's all I've got so far, but I'm gonna try and stretch it out to a full 80 minutes if possible. I'm gonna try to give it out for free if I can afford to, depending on how much it will cost to get it pressed and whatnot. If all goes well with this cd, I'm going to try to make a techno (House/Trance) cd, since I would feel tainted not making a mix cd for my first love. I'll keep you guys updated on what's going on, and if you want to email me any questions, comments, etc, hit me up at djclearboy@hotmail.com Peace out...
Hello faithful followers. All two of you. Unless you don't count me, then it's just one. And that's assuming there's someone else that reads this. So anyway, I've decided to make some changes in the strip. I was getting a little fed up with the biblical-style I had begun with, and to be honest it wasn't as funny or (and I think more to the point) as egotistical as I wanted it to be. In the future you can count on many mother-oriented jokes, much mature content (mostly swears), and lots and lots of me, because amongst other things I like to have my ego stroked.
As an off-topic note, the last mix cd I made didn't turn out well as far as cound-quality went, but overall it was pretty good. I have since made a new mix cd that I can be reasonably proud of. Once I get it finished I'll post a track listing and tell you how you can get a free copy, since I won't be charging anything for it. Well, at least I'd like to be able to charge nothing for it, but we shall see. At any rate, I'll catch ya' on tha flip side!
Well well well... long time no frickin' see, huh? My computer has decided to boycott the internet, making our relationship difficult at the best of times. We have finally managed to come to an agreement of sorts, and thus you have the long-awaited new comic. I really want to start doing my comic a little differently, but I'm afraid that I would be infringing on Chuck's "style" a little too much. So we shall see. Worst case scenario things will proceed along the route they have already begun taking. At any rate, I swear on all that I hold holy that the next comic will be on time. Of course, the joke's on you, because I hold nothing holy!! MWA-HAHAHAHA!!! Suckers...
Okay, I should change the name of my comic to "Ryan's ADHD Strip" since I can't seem to hang onto a format. I dunno how long this style will last, but as of right now I really like doing it this way, and I like the material I've got for 'em. I've got at least six more written out, if not already pieced together, so this style will be around for at least a short while. Lemme know what you think.
Sorry I got this one up late. I just plain forgot. If you don't like it, well then you can go suck a duck. Not much else goin on. I applied for my own keenspace site, and my application SEEMS like it got out and to them okay, but we shall see. Last I heard they weren't accepting new apps, so I dunno. Maybe I'm just one lucky mofo. At any rate, I gotta run... catch ya on the flip side!
Man, it's a good thing no one actually reads my comic, otherwise I'd run the risk of disappointing them by getting it to Nate all the time! But anyway, I gotta cut this short cuz I actually have something to do for once! Peace out!
